| Mandm |
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| Part 30.030 ‑ Broken bones |
This story is a complete work of fiction. Whilst some research effort has been made, nothing should be taken as factual, in particular anything to do with medical, legal, technical, political, social, educational or religious issues. Any opinions expressed are those of the characters, not necessarily the author's.
Pete went to fetch Red and Jenna at around five o'clock on the Friday afternoon, unusually, he went on his own. Normally, Kitty and Chloe liked to accompany Pete on such journeys, but Kitty was very reluctant, and, of course, Chloe wouldn't leave Kitty when she might be a little emotional.
All the girls were wearing their uniform dresses, several of them were on the ground floor including the twins, but Kitty was on the top floor, Chloe with her.
As they'd previously decided, whenever possible the twins would greet the guests, they wanted to 'feel' them for any health issues as well as to get an impression of what they might be like. The greetings were perhaps a little closer than would probably be the case for other guests, Midge gave Red a hug while Molly gave Jenna one, then they swapped. Released, Jenna asked "Where's Kitty?" Midge replied "We'll find her in a minute, let's get you booked in."
She led them to the reception desk, where Isha was sitting. As Jenna and Red were sitting down, Midge said to them "You're Isha's first booking, please be gentle with her." Molly muttered "Not like Kitty was." Jenna frowned, "What's that about?" Midge replied "Just a bit of rough and tumble, nobody hurt." Red smiled, "She can be a bit rough at times." He went very red in the face, turned to Jenna, "I didn't mean …" Jenna put her finger on his lips, "Don't worry, I know what you two did. Unless there's something you haven't told me?" "No, nothing." "Right, let Isha do her job."
More or less reading from the computer on her desk, Isha started by saying "Hello. Please sit down. Oh, you already are. Welcome to the em‑and‑em guest house. Why aren't there capital letters? Everywhere else has them. Must have forgotten when they registered the name. Or this is written wrong. No, Kitty did it, must be right. She's always right. Infuriating. Let me check you in."
She started moving the mouse and clicking, she muttered "Oh, blast." Then "Sorry, lost the page, got to … ah, got it back. Wow, I think I'm getting good at this. But must remember to only press the button when the pointy end of the arrow thing is over the right bit. Well, it's not a button, just the top of the poor mouse's head. Mice head? No, mouse's, just doesn't sound right. Okay, that's it, you are officially booked in.
"Now, can I ask you, would you like to be called by your first names or by mister and misses ‑ oh, no, can't call you misses yet until you've told me. This is awkward." Jenna, laughing at her, "Christian names please, he's Red, I'm Jin." Isha turned back to the computer, looking puzzled, "Those aren't the names down here …" she turned to Midge "… they aren't in here, I've got Reginald and Jenna." Midge said to her, "It's all right, Red and Jin are their nicknames that they use."
"Oh, thank goodness for that, I don't know how to un‑book someone, nobody's told me. I suppose I could book them out, but then they'd have to pay, and there's no charge for these so how would that work? Ooh, I think I've found a place here to type in what they want to be called, that's good. Not obvious, it's labelled 'Preferred form of address'. I suppose names and addresses go together, but it's a stupid thing to call it. Oh, well, here goes. Sorry, mouse, don't really want to give you a headache … there we are, R, E, D and … G, I, N."
"No" from Midge, J, I, N." "How the devil am I supposed to know?" "It's based on her name?" "Oh, well, yes, I suppose so.
"Anyway, now we all know our names, well, you should know all of ours 'cos we're all labelled, except for the twins, but even they don't know which is which. That's if we're wearing our proper dresses, but if we're not wearing them, you won't. I suppose we could get tattoos? I'll put that into the suggestion box. Except we don't have a suggestion box, we just tell someone if we have an idea. Then they get the credit. Mind you, if it's a bad idea, they'll get the blame, and since most of my suggestions aren't very good, that works out all right for me.
"So, let me tell you about the guest house. You are booked into room twelve, the door has a number‑coded lock. Instructions to set it up are inside on the lock. Though how you get into the room to do so if you haven't set it up, I don't know. But whoever shows you up to your room will help you. That's assuming they know. Dead ignorant, some of them. Kitty knows how, but then she would, wouldn't she?
"We normally use the stairs, but there is a lift for if you're too decrepit or just too flippin' lazy to use them. Please get someone to take you if you do want to use it, too great a risk of you going into our private places. Well, you're welcome to go into our private places, but not into our private spaces, can't have that. 'Spose I should warn you, we do have security cameras, if you stray, all hell will break loose.
"If you want tea or coffee at any time, please ask any of the girls, but we don't have any alcoholic drinks here. Well, I suppose you could bring your own, I don't think we'd throw you into jail or anything, but we don't have any. You can have it brought to your room if you want. That's your teas and coffees, for your own drinks you'll have to make your own arrangements. I expect we've got some glasses you can use, though. Can they have biscuits?" ‑ this to Midge. "Yes, some bought in, some Jane will do for us."
Isha, back to Red and Jenna, "Jane's shortbread is something else, I'd have some if I were you.
"Rooms are serviced while you're out to lunch. Oh, I don't mean we expect you to go barmy or anything, I mean when you've left to go to eat lunch. Mind you, you might be barmy after a couple of days here. Sheets and towels changed every two days unless they need changing before. We don't mind, we often have to do it for ours. If you need anything extra, towels, sheets, soap, shampoo, feminine requirements ‑ that must mean tampons. Why can't we just say tampons? Life is full of mysteries."
She continued, "Toothbrushes, toothpaste, men's medical needs ‑ I'm pretty sure that means rubbers. Same problem as tampons. This says there should be some in your bathroom. Tampons and rubbers. Must have got some tampons and rubbers in. We don't use tampons, Pete doesn't use rubbers of course. Oh, not that he's, you know, no, it's us."
Isha stopped, frowned, momentarily looked as if she might cry. Just about audibly, she muttered "Fucking nuns."
Just as quickly she brightened up, "Oh, just thought, mouthwash, don't know if we hold any mouthwash, but you can always ask, we can only say 'no'. Anyway, if you need anything, just ask someone or phone housekeeping or room service. This is in the wrong order, I've not told you you've got a phone yet, let alone how to use it, I think that must be a bit later.
"Talking of being out to lunch, eating's next on my list, that's lucky. We take you to a restaurant for lunch and dinner ‑ we don't want anyone poisoned by Kitty's cooking ‑ our normal meeting times are twelve‑thirty for lunch, six‑thirty for dinner. We're actually booked in for one and seven, it only takes ten minutes to get there, but one of you lot is bound to be blinkin' late here and we've promised George we'll try not to be late there.
"Have you been to George's before? ‑ No? ‑ You're in for a treat. Dress is optional ‑ oops, sorry, I mean dressing up is optional." To herself, but just audibly, "Maybe optional in the lounge after dinner." Then "We suggest smart casual, but anything respectable. I could make other suggestions, but it does say respectable here. All your eats, teas and coffees are included, any wine or other alcoholic drinks you have there are added to your bill back here that you pay at the end of your stay. Hope you can pay, or we'll probably throw you into jail."
Isha turned to Midge, "That's for these as well?" Midge replied "Sorry, but yes, we need to test the whole arrangement, from George assigning their drinks bill, passing it to us, right through to the credit card at the end. But no jail." Then to Red and Jenna, "We'd like you to keep a tally of what you have there, please, just to make sure our system works."
Isha continued "Your tables there are all set for two, but if you're lucky enough to find another couple here that want to be with you, please let us know by at least a couple of hours before we eat, so they can shuffle tables around. Too busy serving people to do it when you get there, I suppose.
"If you want drinks after either meal, usually you can have them in the restaurant lounge, but if they have a function on in there then you can't. Mustn't gate‑crash any wedding parties. Or any other sorts of parties. But we can take you to a local hotel where there's a bar, you'll pay the hotel for them at the time. I suppose they don't know us as well as George does. Lucky them. All transport laid on. That's if Pete's not being laid by any of the girls, or tied up playing with Kitty and Chloe. Are they into bondage? Not seen them, so probably not. Though you never know with those two.
"Mondays we eat here, but no need to panic, Kitty's not cooking it. We'll give you a menu Saturday or Sunday morning latest, George will sort it. Well, Charlotte will, she's the chef, and a damned good one. We pick it up on Sunday and bung it in the oven or something on Monday. We'll keep Kitty away from it, promise. Or, if you prefer, there's a barbecue out the back, we'll have stuff you can have on it if you want. Hope your cooking's better than Kitty's, though.
"Oh, while I think of it, if you do want to get some mouthwash or anything, Pete can run you into town. Same problem with him getting laid as before, I suppose, but it's worth a shot. Oh, not that he has any problem getting laid. Particularly if Kitty's around, lucky bitch.
"You can have breakfast any time you like, there's a breakfast room on this floor, someone will show you where it is if you can't find it, but if you like you can have breakfast in your room, you can either order it in the evening or ring in the morning. Bloody three o'clock in the morning I suppose if you can't sleep and really want it then, this does say 'any time'.
"There should be a directory of useful numbers by the phone in you room. See? That's when I should have told you about phoning house‑keeping. If the directory is missing, it'll be one of us thrown into jail for not preparing your room properly. If your phone call doesn't get answered within a short time, it will put you through to our security room, which is pretty much always manned. Well, woman'd. They'll sort you out.
"Please don't go through any doors marked 'Private'." Quietly, "There be dragons." Then "Phew, still more. You are welcome to explore the grounds, here's a map for you, pass the guests a map. Oh, that was an instruction to me, not to you." She opened a drawer in the desk, took out a piece of paper and passed it to them.
"I am supposed to warn you, where it's marked 'Play area', we girls usually skinny‑dip, If you don't like the idea, please stay clear, but you're welcome to watch if you want." Quietly, "Or join in." A bit quieter still, "Please."
"You'll see there's a lake bordering much of our land, if you want to go swimming, please let someone know, we have to keep watch on you, make sure the crocodiles don't get you. If you want to swim away from where we are playing, oh, I don't mean escape from near our play are, I mean start somewhere else, you can go by the boathouse." She added "No point asking me for help, I can't swim. Oh, I suppose I could probably find someone who can.
"You can explore anywhere in our grounds, except there are three cottages with residents in them. The natives are all friendly, usually leave their doors wide open, but they are private. You can see them on the map, so please don't just wander in. Also any sheds or whatever that are in use. Isn't all this bleedin' obvious? Who wrote this? Bloody Kitty, of course.
"There are other old cottages and things, they are all right to explore. Bugger all in them, though. I guess you could use them for a bit of hanky‑panky, but they are cold and damp. But whatever floats your boat. We did think about floating boats on the lake for you, but we can't at the moment. Too many legal hurdles, apparently. Shame, you'd be safe from the piranhas in a boat. The grounds are bounded by the road, the lake and a fence, we ask you not to go outside these." She muttered "There be more dragons."
"If you do fall out of a tree, or Kitty bumps into you when she's practising low flying her broomstick or something and you get hurt, or you get ill ‑ hint: don't eat or drink anything done by Kitty ‑ we have a doctor on call, Doc and her nurse Emma. Oh, I don't mean Doc's decrepit and needs nursing, Emma helps her with the patients. And with other things. Doc and Emma live in one of the cottages we've said not to go into. Particularly theirs, I've heard rumours. Anyway, they'll patch up anything you do to yourself. I expect Midge or Molly will make you better later. Whoops, not sure I was supposed to say that to you. Oh, well, too late now. Sorry.
"Blimey, there's more. The lounge area here is safe, well, that's so long as Kitty doesn't start a fight, so please lounge around as much as you like, tea and coffee always available." In something of a conspiratorial aside, "I'd make the most of the tea and coffee if I were you, it's free. Well, not really free, you've already paid for it. Well, not you, but normal people would have done. And loos within easy reach, sign there behind you, so no need to hold back. Or hold it in. Don't want any wee on our nice new carpet. And don't forget the shortbread. Not that you could after you've had some.
"Nearly at the end ‑ thank goodness for that ‑ we have a theatre here, one of its entrances is there, just beside you. We may put on some sort of entertainment in the evenings after dinner. Or possibly at other times I suppose, but that's what it says here. Could be worth watching, you never know. It might get a bit naughty, though. Hope so. But you can always leave, you won't be strapped to your chair. Unless Kitty and Chloe are doing their bondage thing of course.
"Please remember all of the girls will help you in any way you like. Any way, they're all very friendly. But if we get too, er, friendly, ask us to stop. We usually will, but if not, threaten that you'll tell Molly.
"Wow, at last, that's the end."
Isha turned Midge, "This is stupid, keeping our guests here for hours on end while I go though all this spiel. Couldn't we just put it on paper in their rooms? Can't they blinking well read or something? Have to be in book form, though, it's as long as a decent novel. Not a very good plot, so maybe it was a bad novel."
Midge smiled, "Yes, you might be right. Sorry, Jin, Red, that's why we're doing this, to find out what's best." Red, trying to stop laughing, "No, that's fine." Jin added "Well worth it for the entertainment value."
Isha, to the guests, "Right. Any questions? Doubt I know any answers, but I might be able to find someone who does if you're lucky. And if I can't, I suppose I'll be the one thrown into jail. At least I'll be safe from Kitty. Unless she's thrown into jail with me. Then I couldn't get away fr…" Midge almost shouted, "Isha, enough." Then "Jin, Red, any questions?"
Jin said "Just one. Isha, why do you hate Kitty so much?" "Hate Kitty? Good god, no. I love Kitty. Everybody loves Kitty. Me more than anyone. What on earth gave you that idea?"
Shaking her head, Isha moved a domed service bell in front of her, and with expression of extreme concentration, she banged her hand down hard onto its top. There was just the sound of her hand thumping, if the bell made any noise, it was totally lost. Molly laughed, Midge said "Try with one finger, like we showed you." "Oh, yes." Isha pushed down on the top button with the tip of her forefinger, the bell gave out a very satisfying 'Ting'. Several girls raced to the desk, there was a bit of argy‑bargy between them until Molly clapped her hands, Midge said "Just two of you, please. Josie and Valencia. You others, you'll get your turn."
The two picked up Jin and Red's bags, Josie said "Please follow me. Valencia will follow you, make sure you don't get lost. Isha, which is their room?" Isha replied "How the hell do you expect me to know? ‑ Oh, yes, that's my job. And I've just told them. Anyway, it's right here on my screen. Just as well, I've completely forgotten, not surprising after all the junk I've just had to wade through. Twelve."
Jin turned to Midge, "Put Isha in your theatre, she's quite an act."
As the four of them disappeared up the stairs, Benny came in through the front door with Maurice, Conner and two girls. Midge and Molly went to them, Benny said "Hello, everything all right?" Midge said "So far, so good. Not sure about our receptionist, though, but I don't think you can help with that." Benny smiled, "No, unless it's bricks and mortar, it's not my thing. Anyway, I'm not stopping, just brought these in, hopefully I'll be here to pick them up on Tuesday morning."
As Benny went out, Midge and Molly gave each of Maurice and Conner a hug, they seemed a bit reluctant to return it. Releasing Conner, Midge said "Oh, sorry, please, introduce us to these two lovely ladies." Maurice replied "This is Alex, she's with me, and Nancy's with Conner. Nancy, Alex, this is either Midge or Molly, and she's Molly or Midge. No point asking them which is which, they'll never give you a straight answer."
As Isha had pointed out to Red and Jenna, the twins were the only ones who didn't have their names embroidered on their dresses.
Molly went to Alex, took hold of her hands and gave her a kiss, "Hello, I'm Molly, unless I'm Midge." Midge went to Nancy, took her hand, kissed her, and said "I'm Midge, unless I'm Molly. Now, let's get you all booked in." She led them over to Isha at her desk, she said to Isha "These are Conner and Nancy, and here are Maurice and Alex. Please try to be a little more concise than you were before."
Isha nodded, "Yes, no problem. I'm an expert now, I've done this before. And having two lots to tell everything to together will halve the time. Well, it'll halve my time. I'm afraid you'll have to suffer the full hour and a half like the first pair.
"Right, Conner and Nancy, yes, that's one of them here, and Maurice and Alex. Ah." Isha looked up at Alex, and with a broad grin, she said "Your real name is Alexandra, and Alex is your nickname." When a somewhat surprised Alex nodded, Isha turned to Midge and said "See? I'm an expert."
To the four guests, she said "Now I ask you what you want to be called. Apparently not allowed to use 'mister' or 'misses' or 'miss' or any of the weirder titles people seem to have these days unless you've said it first, mustn't upset anybody. Hmm. Much simpler if we call you by your Christian names. Oh, can't call them 'Christian' names either, they're now 'given' names. How the heck are we supposed to remember all this stuff?
"Bugger it, you'll be called Conner, Nancy, Maurice and Alex, I'm putting those names in here, so that's final. Hope we've got you paired correctly or you'll be sleeping with each other's partner. Well, for all I know, you'll be doing that anyway, there's enough of that goes on around here with our usual visitors.
"What's so bloody funny?"
The four guests, Midge and Molly, and a crowd of girls who'd gathered round to listen, were all laughing uncontrollably.
When she was able to speak, Midge managed to say to Isha, "You are. But don't worry about it."
Turning to the recovering guests, Midge said "I'll give you the salient points. Most days we meet here at twelve‑thirty for lunch, six‑thirty for dinner. Tables at the restaurant are normally set for couples, if you want to be with others, let us know at least an hour or so before that so we can get the restaurant to organise the tables. Any drinks you want there will be added to your bill here to be paid for at the end of your stay, sorry, this goes for you as well. We'd like you to keep a check on what you have, it's a new system, don't want any charges going to the wrong people. Mondays we eat in, you'll be asked to choose from a menu a day or two before, or you can use the barbecue.
"Breakfast any time you like, in your room or in the breakfast room in the far corner on this floor, you two will know the room here anyway, it was the private dining room. Teas, coffees included, always available, here in the lounge, in your room, or in the seating area outside, just ask any of our girls.
"Isha, maps for them, please … thank you. You are welcome to wander round the grounds, but the 'Play area' is where our girls enjoy themselves in their own way, which can upset some people, but you are welcome to watch if you like.
"Your rooms are locked by a keypad, setting instructions are inside on the lock's faceplate. Servicing your room is normally done while you're at the restaurant, use the room phone if you want anything else at any time.
"Isha, anything I've forgotten?" "Fashion show, crocodiles and dragons."
Turning back to the guests, "Yes. We may put on some sort of entertainment in the theatre here. And you are welcome to swim in the lake, but let us know beforehand, we need someone as a lifeguard, we suggest by the boathouse if you don't want to be near the play area. Oh, Isha's dragons, some areas are private, they're obvious, as are the boundaries of our land, and if you want to use the lift to get to or from your room, please ask a girl to go with you, can't have you accidentally going to the wrong floor.
"Any questions? … No? … All right. Isha, their room numbers, please." "Oh, I am useful then, thought you were making me redundant. Conner and Nancy in eleven, Maurice and Alexandr… sorry, Alex in ten. Suppose we are avoiding thirteen, not that it's any different, but you might be unlucky enough to get Kitty doing your housekeeping, so …" Midge butted in, "Thank you, Isha.
"Deborah, Ingrid, Sapphire, Paula, please escort our guests to their rooms. Girls, you'll have to make a rota for escorting and so on." Turning to the guests, "We do hope you'll enjoy your stay here, but please tell us anything that you'd like added, changed or taken away, any criticism, don't worry about upsetting us, that's why you're staying with us. Okay? … See you all here at six‑thirty, if not before."
As the guests and their escorts went towards the stairs, Midge turned to Isha, she said "Isha, you're certainly not redundant, I think you are a little nervous, it's showing through. Would you like someone else to be on reception?" "Nervous? I'm bloody scared out of my bloody wits in case something bloody goes wrong and I get the bloody sack. But, no, I'd rather keep going, in a way it's nice being in such an important position."
Midge smiled at her, "Yes, it is a very important position. Apart from Molly and me, you will normally be the first one our guests see, and first impressions are so important. But, whatever happens, you won't get the sack.
"Have you finished entering what you need to for these? Don't worry if you've done anything wrong, Kitty will sort it so long as we know. Mustn't charge extras to the wrong guests, that would be very bad, so make sure of names and room numbers in particular. I know these are already in your computer, but we might possibly want to swap rooms from the pre‑assigned ones for some reason.
"Talking of Kitty, We'll see if we can get her down, I think she's more nervous than you are."
Several minutes later, Midge and Molly were leading Kitty onto the ground floor, Chloe following closely behind. They took her to a settee, they made Kitty and Chloe sit in the middle, Midge sat beside Kitty, Molly beside Chloe. That's how they were when Red and Jenna came from the stairs, Jenna immediately went straight to where Kitty was. Midge got up so that Jenna could sit beside her, Chloe and Molly got up, Jenna looked at Red and pointed to him to sit the other side of Kitty. Kitty was looking straight down at the floor in front of her, hands clamped between her knees.
Jenna put her arm round Kitty's shoulders, started whispering in her ear. After a few seconds, Kitty, with tears streaming down her face, turned to Jenna and hugged her. Somehow Jenna moved in front of Kitty, and, kneeling on the floor, pulled Kitt and Red into a three‑way hug.
After a few seconds, Kitty gave each of them a kiss, her tears seemed to dry up, very soon Midge, Molly and Chloe saw Jenna sitting back up, and the three were having a quiet, but apparently cheerful conversation, they continued like this until the other two couples came down the stairs, it was nearly half past six.
Kitty, Jenna and Red stood up, Kitty escorted the two to the front door. She gave each of them a quick kiss before standing back.
The three couples, Midge and Molly, and two other girls, Sasha and Clementine, went through the front door to where Pete had the minibus waiting for them. The two girls were there to be the lounge waitresses, Midge and Molly were going with them just to observe, hopefully not to take any active part in the restaurant proceedings.
They left Kitty and Chloe hugging each other.
After a few minutes, Isha went to them, Kitty noticed her standing there, Kitty said "Hello, Isha, what can we do for you?" To which Isha replied "You seem so sad, can I do anything to help?" Kitty and Chloe separated enough to pull Isha into their hug, Kitty said "No, but thank you anyway, that's kind of you to offer. Let's just say I once knew Red, sort of sad happy to see him with Jin. But I'm fine."
Chloe suggested "Coffee for us all?" Isha replied "Not if Kitty ma… oof" ‑ instantly Kitty and Isha were on the floor having a wrestle. Chloe stood aside for a moment, nodding her approval. By the time she'd got back with a tray with three coffees on it, Kitty and Isha were sat on a settee, Kitty's arm round Isha's shoulders, Isha's arm was round Kitty's waist, both were laughing.
About half past nine, the guests came back into the building, with Midge, Molly, Sasha and Clementine, all of them seemed cheerful. As they came into the lounge area, Chloe went to Midge and Molly, she said "A couple of the girls were listening to Red and Jin being booked in, they picked up on Jin suggesting that Isha might make an act for the theatre. We had a chat with Isha, she said she'd do a talk, what do you think?" Molly and Midge glanced at each other, "Sure she wants to?" "She's a bit nervous, but says she would, but doesn't know what she could say."
Midge answered "We can give it a go." To the guests: "We're going to see if we can put something on in the theatre, nothing rehearsed, so don't know how it will turn out. If you want to see it, be here in quarter of an hour."
As the guests went to the stairs, the twins and Chloe went to where Kitty and Isha were sitting on a settee. Midge asked Isha "Are you all right doing this?" Isha replied "I don't mind, but I've got nothing to talk about." Midge smiled, "We'll put you on a stool with a light on you, we'll get anyone who wants to listen to come in, then we'll tell you to start. Introduce yourself, then just say whatever come into your head. Just don't talk about the club, all right?" "Suppose so. You'll rescue me if it all goes horribly wrong, won't you?" "Of course. "
Ten minutes later, Kitty led Isha into the theatre, there was a stool in the middle of the stage area. Midge and Molly were there, Molly lifted Isha up and sat her on the stool. Midge asked "Comfortable?" Isha settled herself, nodded. Midge said "You'll be fine, Kitty will be here to make sure you're all right. Just not the club, okay?"
Moments later, a bright light was shining on Isha, the normal lighting dimmed. She could hear some shuffling going on, and after a few minutes, Kitty went to her, she said "All right, Isha, they're ready."
Isha started speaking.
[The monologue is written here as one paragraph, this is how the very nervous Isha spoke it, words tumbling into each other, barely pausing for breath between each sentence. Parts in italics were edited out of the recording that others might later see.]
"Hello, I'm Isha. Well, you should really know my name already because it's written on my dress. All our dresses have our names on, avoids confusion. Except the twins, they don't have their names on. But nobody knows who they are anyway. Well, we know they're Midge and Molly, but then they might be Molly and Midge. So apart from them, you should know all our names, so you must know mine. Unless you can't read. Or lost your specs. But I did book you all in. Well, I booked two of you in, the other four I only half booked in, because Midge took over. Actually I'm rather glad she did, because she said what I was supposed to say in about a quarter of the time it took me when I told my first lot of you. Is two a lot? Not really. But I had to say a lot. She must talk very quickly to do that. Funny, didn't seem like she was talking very quickly, so I don't understand that. Another one of life's great mysteries. Mind you, I have a suspicion at least some of you can't read, because when I booked the first of you in I had to spend a long time telling you about everything, instead of giving you a two hundred page printout off my computer screen. So, anyway, they've asked me to sit here and talk to you, but since they've not told me what to talk about, I've really got nothing to say, so I've been put on the spot a bit. Well, in a spot, the spotlight's shining right in my eyes, so I can't see anyone in here, so if you aren't here, we're all wasting our time. Well, I'm wasting my time, if you aren't here, you're not. Unless you're wasting it somewhere else. Thinking about it, I've been put on a stool, not on a spot, that's good because it's quite tall and if I could see you, my head would be about the same height as yours with you sitting in your seats. I didn't know we had this stool, I wonder if anyone would notice if I sneaked it up to our dining area? Then I could see over the edge of the table instead of feeling over it to find my plate. Slight exaggeration, table top's at chin level. Well, maybe my chin's a little higher than that, but I'm still low enough so it's awkward for my arms. And my tits come up against the edge of the table, so I can't get close. Of course, with the stool, my feet can't reach the ground. Not that they do with a chair. So I often kneel on my chair to eat, gives me a bit more height. Trouble is, my legs go to sleep, and everybody finds it funny when I fall over when I get off. I don't mind, gives me an excuse to have a punch‑up with them. Other times I sit on someone's lap at the dining table, but they pinch me when I nick food off their plate. Well, my arms are short, I can barely reach mine beside us. In any case, some greedy‑guts the other side of it will take my food, so what am I supposed to do? Maybe I should stop eating at the table, take their empty plates back into the kitchen, scrape what's left off of them, eat that.
It's what I had to do before I was put in the convent, that's if I wanted anything to eat at all, though I always got plenty to drink, they made sure of that. Well, I did raid next door's dustbin when I could. It's not easy to climb into a wheelie bin when you're my height and it keeps running away from you. When the neighbour found me in the dustbin I got taken out of it and put into the convent instead. Doc said that's probably why I'm so little, but she did say that although I am small, I am perfectly formed, so that's nice. In the convent, no one really wanted to eat, the food was so awful. Anyway, don't think I'm supposed to have a punch‑up with you lot, so I'm sitting cross‑legged, so when I climb down I'll be able to stand. I wonder if that's where Kitty learnt to cook, in the convent? That might explain things. Damned glad the school burnt down, or we wouldn't be here today, we'd still be eating their ghastly food. Well, we wouldn't, we would have left school by now. That's if we'd not been poisoned by it before we left. Funny that, well, not funny, quite serious, but no one got hurt. The fire, not the poisoning. No, it's funny because that's the sort of thing I'd expect Molly to do, but since each can be either, I suppose I expect it of Midge as well. No, it's funny because ‑ oh, said that before, sorry, shouldn't be repeating myself, didn't realise, must be time‑filling since I've got nothing to talk about ‑ it's funny because they'd left the school. Very sad for them, their parents died, horrible for them. That's horrible for Midge and Molly and for their parents.
Wish mine had died. And they got Kitty and Chloe out as well, lucky them.
The twins got them out, not my parents. That's Kitty and Chloe got lucky. Got lucky quite a lot of times since then, too. The fire happened when the school was empty because they found cockroaches. Heard one of the fucking nuns shouting about it. Well, I suppose the nuns fuck, they are women after all. Well, sort of. Not exactly sexy. Take a weirdo to want to do it to them. Kitty's weird, but she didn't find the nuns sexy, so I suppose there must be more than one kind of weirdo. Some in the kitchen and some in the abbess's study desk drawers. Cockroaches, that is, not nuns or weirdos, they wouldn't fit in the drawers. She said it was locked, so couldn't have been put there by anyone. The shouting nun said it, not Kitty, she wasn't there. Bet Molly could have done it if she'd been there, she could unlock anywhere in the convent, dormitory locks, kitchen lock, even the front door, they were always nipping out of the school and back in without any of the nuns noticing. Well, they were noticed when they were saving Kitty and Chloe from the nuns. Kept getting whipped. Horrible. Ooh, that makes you think, though, maybe they could have sneaked in and done it after they were out? I'd give them a big hug and a kiss if they did, because it was the best thing that ever happened to me. And to all of the girls there. Then the four of them set this place up as a school. Heaven. Midge, Molly, Kitty and Chloe, not four nuns. Had a lot of help from grown‑ups they knew, and lots of people around helped and gave us beds and things. Well, not beds, but proper mattresses, and nice sheets and a pillow and a real quilt. First time I'd been warm at night for ages, I'd had to sleep in a bath at the convent. Bloody cold. Didn't know grown‑ups could be nice until then. Got teachers in who knew what they were teaching, never hit any of us, we all got good exam results, nobody ever did that at the convent. Except hit us, plenty of that. And we got fed nice food, they must have kept Kitty out of the kitchen. Still remember the first meal we had here. Not the first thing we ate, that was Jane's shortbread biscuits. Have you tried them? Lovely, never got fed up with them. No, I mean yes, I did feed myself right up with them, stuffed myself something rotten more than once, but I still love them, just don't eat so many at a time now, learnt not to do it, I'm clever like that. But the first cooked meal, meatballs and spaghetti. Wonderful, never had anything like it before. Charlotte did it, she's the chef at George's. Chef? Cheffette? Cheffess? Well, whatever she's called, she does the cooking there. Hope you enjoyed your meal, if not, there's no hope for you, Kitty will do something for you, then you'd want to leave, and we don't want you to leave, 'cos you've been quite nice. Well, so far, but you might not be nice if you did eat something of Kitty's. So they did the building up for us, made it comfortable. Somehow it stopped me peeing in the bed, did it every night at the convent, got beaten senseless every time. Until I learnt better and slept in the bath, so my bed didn't get wet. Bloody freezing. Think I told you about that already. Might explain my lack of any sense now. Probably Kitty cast a spell on me. That's stopping me peeing at night, not making me senseless. It's never happened here. Well, not unless we're playing games, but that's different. Thinking about it, maybe I've still got a little sense left, even I got quite good exam results. But you know that already because I told you all of us did, and I'm one of us. Unless Kitty hacked into the exam board's computer, or something, changed the results, that's one thing she is good at, computers and stuff. Schooling here went quite quickly. Next thing we knew, Pete appeared, they made a nice little apartment for him, he was very poorly, they told us not to disturb him. But we did sometimes have a sneaky look, he was the only man who'd stayed here then. Apart from Hugh. Hugh and Margo stayed when we came here to make sure we didn't do anything stupid, but I don't count him. 'Spose a bunch of giggling schoolgirls wouldn't help him recover. We were very quiet. That's around Pete, not Hugh, though I expect Hugh recovered all right as well. Didn't want Midge and Molly knowing, either, they probably would have been angry. Dread to think what might have happened then. Mind you, they might have known and not said anything because we never touched Pete. Touched him since. Mmm. Nice. Now, besides doing us, he does all sorts of stuff around here, fetching, carrying, transporting, throwing bad people out, he throws Kitty up and down. Oh, not supposed to tell you about that, 'cos then I'd have to tell you about what we were doing here before we turned into a guest house. Throwing people out, not throwing Kitty up and down. Well, pushing Kitty up and down, really, not throwing. Says she's the perfect weight. That's not Kitty saying she's the perfect weight, no, it's Pete saying it. She probably helps him by levitating like she does when she's riding her broomstick. Maybe I shouldn't tell you that either, but nobody's told me I'm not to. Oh, it wasn't we who turned into a guest house, it was the building that did. Not all by itself, I think that's beyond what's in Kitty's spell‑book. No, we had builders in and things, quite exciting, only we weren't allowed to be around them, something to do with distracting them from their work. Seems we're very good at distracting, we're not allowed around anyone doing work here. Well, we can be around Roy when he's doing work, but we don't play with him, don't think Jane would like it. He's very good about it, very friendly, but never encourages us or anything. Have any of you met Jane? She's nice, lives in the cottage down by our play area, asks us in for a cup of tea and a shortbread biscuit. Well, several. That's several of us and several biscuits. Oh, it's not just our play area, anyone can join in. If you want to, we'd like that. We can swim in the lake there as well, some of us do. Not me, though, I wouldn’t. In any case it's too deep for me. That's because I'm not very tall. I 'spect it's too deep for all you properly tall people if you go away from the shore, Roy says it gets very deep. Good hiding place for killer whales. Most of our girls can swim, Kitty and Chloe are very good, faster than anyone else. Well, except Midge and Molly if someone's in trouble, then the twins put on their hyperdrive ‑ hydro‑drive? they go like a speedboat, wake and all. Think the four of them are quick because of the swimsuits they wear, sexy or what? That's Kitty, Chloe, Midge and Molly, not four killer whales. They keep their hair tucked into rubber caps. That's rubber caps on their heads, not over their pubes. Do killer whales have pubes? Didn't teach us that at school. But they do have to trim them to keep what's left covered by their bikinis, keeps their hair out of the water, 'spose there'd be too much drag otherwise. That's the four girls, I don't know if killer whales have to trim theirs. That's even if they have them, and we don't know that, either. Well, I don't, you might if you went to a proper school. If you want to swim without us playing around, go up by the boathouse, we aren't allowed to play there, but you have to have at least one of us there to watch you getting drowned when the crocodiles pull you under. And I think I only told the first lot of you about the piranhas, please spread the word, only fair. To get there, that's to Jane's and to our play area, not the boathouse, you would have to run the gauntlet of Dee and Lillian's kids, Milly and Kyle. Lovely children, but we seem to get swamped by them every time we go by, don't know how they do it, there's only two of them and they're only five or something, and nearly as small as me, even so they can surround half a dozen of us. Another of life's mysteries. But if you think they're likely to suffocate you, use your dying breath to yell for Molly, they're scared shitless of her. Well, sort of, a bit like us, really scared of her when we've done something wrong, if we haven't then she's very nice. Lovely kids. Wish … no, mustn't go there. Like me telling you about before the guest house, mustn't go there either, and probably shouldn't about being scared shitless of Molly, Molly's very nice if we've not done anything wrong. I think I said that before, bears repeating. Lill's very nice as well, often been in hers for a cup of tea, same as Jane. Not the same cup, they each have their own, though Lill doesn't have the shortbread to go with it. Hmm. Shortbread. Hmm. Nice. Oh, don't want to frighten you, I don't think there are bears around, let alone repeating ones. Well, I did once hear Lill telling Milly and Kyle the bears were having a picnic down in the woods today. No, not today, that's what she said to them on the day I heard her say it. But there can't be bears in the woods, this is England. But do watch out for the goblins. Mind you, some might have escaped from a zoo. Bears that is, not goblins, I don't think you get goblins in zoos. Not actually seen any bears, though, so I don't know. Anyway, hope the bears and the goblins get on all right. Where were we? Oh, I was telling you about what I'm not supposed to tell you about. By the time we were doing that, all the girls who hadn't been done by the nuns had left. Well, it wasn't actually the nuns who did it, seems they took us somewhere to have it done. We all really enjoyed it ‑ no, not what the nuns took us to have done, don't remember that anyway, doped up to the eyeballs we think, that's what we did here after school. That's after this wasn't a school, not when we were doing homework in the evenings after school when this was a school, though me not quite as much as the rest. That's not doing homework after school, I did lots of that, no, that's when this wasn't a school any more, they didn't like me being a hos… whoops, mustn't give the game away. Well, lots of games, actually. We all enjoyed them. So did our memb… oh, blast, there I go again. Sorry, Midge and Molly, that's if you're listening. But then, if I did say anything, it would serve the two of you right for putting me here with absolutely nothing to talk about. And you lot, please don't say anything to them, or I will be thrown out. That's if you're there, if you're not then I've nothing to worry about. Converting the clu… bugger. Converting from what it was to the guest house was much easier than from the school to whatever it was between then and now, mostly ripping out where they all watched on this floor, putting down the nice carpet and this theatre, though what they intend to do in it if we're not to do what we did before, I don't know. Someone did mention a fashion show, that might be nice, get to show off some of the things we wore. Or didn't wear. Maybe the four's swimsuits, I like them. Not the killer whales' swimsuits, don't think they'd fit in here, Well, maybe the swimsuits if they weren't being worn and were all screwed up, but they only look good when worn, then they wouldn't fit. No, Kitty, Chloe, Midge and Molly's, I'm sure you'd like them. The swimsuits, that is, not Kitty, Chl… oh, that came out wrong, I think you'd like the girls as well. Which reminds me, there's a rumour going round that I don't like Kitty, no idea why, I love Kitty more than anyone. No, not more than I love anyone else, mustn't have favourites, I love them all, no, more than anyone else loves Kitty. She helped design the dresses we've all got now. Do you like them? We quite like them, though not as nice as some of the things we wore before. Or didn't wear. So we girls would like to give you a fashion show, we could do it here. Oh, we're back in the theatre, talking about our dresses. How did that happen? Just as well, not sure what else to say. Told you I've nothing to talk about. Have to go, anyway, I need to get a drink of water or something, mouth's all dry. Funny, doesn't normally do that, probably talking too much, but maybe I'm going down with something. Hope not, I'm low enough to the ground as it is. Well, I will be when I get off this stool. Could someone turn that bleeding light off so I can see how far I'm going to fall?"
Someone did turn the bleeding light off and turned up the normal lighting. Isha found herself looking at the six guests sat in three of the settees, the other settees were crammed with other girls, those who weren't in settees were sitting on the floor in front or standing to the sides, it looked like everyone was there, Pete as well.
There was silence for a few seconds, then someone started clapping, soon everyone was, it went on for quite a long time, during which Kitty, Chloe, Midge and Molly went to Isha. Kitty lifted her off the stool, but didn't put her down, just held her, hugging her. Kitty and Chloe both had tears running down their cheeks, as had several others in the room, most didn't know whether to laugh or cry.
Someone brought a glass of water, Isha managed to free an arm from Kitty's hug, she said "Thank you" and took a few sips. Midge quietly asked Isha, "Is everything you said true?" Isha said "Well, I've seen fish so they could be piranhas, I've not actually seen killer whales, and the crocodiles might be logs in disguise, but …" "No, about before you went to the convent." "Well, yes." "But you told Doc?" "When Doc first came here, she said she was worried that I might have some sort of shrinking disease or something, so she gave me a good going over and asked me all sorts of questions, it sort of slipped out. Doc seemed a bit upset, I suppose because dustbins aren't very clean, and Doc likes things to be hygienic." "And you didn't think to tell us?" "No, didn't dare, they told me they'd kill me if I said anything about it to anyone, so I asked Doc not to say anything to anybody." "Who said they'd kill you?" "My mummy and daddy. And they would. Well, that's if they find out and escape from jail. I think they tried a few times before they went to jail. Hope nobody here tells anyone in case they do find out." Midge asked "Is that how you got all those broken bones we feel in you?" Isha just nodded.
Molly immediately turned to all those around, guests and staff, many of whom were talking to each other, some were just staring at the huddle by the stool. Molly said "Please may I have your attention? … Thank you. I'm going to ask all of you not to say anything to anyone about what Isha said of her life before the convent. Isha is worried about her safety if certain people suspect she'd told anyone. Please treat that part of what she said as totally confidential, not even to friends or family, as if you were a lawyer or doctor. We don't want Isha hurt, nor do we want her worrying about getting hurt. Anything else she said, that's fine.
"To our guests, please be aware, apart from Midge and me, every single one of our girls here was put in the convent because of a difficult time before then. None want to talk about it, but I am unaware of anyone else who has Isha's fears. I'm sure it only slipped out because she was extremely nervous talking to you. Thank you."
While Molly was saying this, Chloe and Midge joined in Kitty's hug of Isha, each gave her a kiss. Midge asked Isha "Would it be all right if we talked to Doc about you?" "I suppose so, but only you four, please?"
Kitty put her down. When Molly had finished speaking, the girls started crowding round Isha, and while Midge and Molly were trying to control them, Kitty and Chloe went over to where the guests were still sitting. They'd been talking amongst themselves, all looked a little downcast.
Kitty said to them "Please, don't worry about her, or any of us like that, we've all learnt to deal with our pasts in our own ways. Apart from those bits, how did you find it?" Red was the first to reply, "Well, let's say I had an awful lot of trouble stopping myself from laughing, but I didn't want to in case I missed any of it. Those bits were so sad, but she's so matter‑of‑fact about it." The other five all nodded, Nancy said "I think Red's put that very well. But, what an imagination." Jin laughed, "Unless there really are bears and goblins in the woods."
Chloe, smiling, "Midge told her just to say whatever came into her head, I don't think she actually believes there are piranhas, crocodiles and killer whales in the lake. But if so, I hope she's wrong." This had all of them laughing. Kitty added "Don't think for one moment that Isha is simple in any way. When she said she got quite good exam results, hers were exceptional, as high as any of us. I think she puts it on a bit as something of a defence mechanism, if she appeared less intelligent to the nuns, they didn't bully her as much. It's something of a habit with her now." Then Chloe added "And when she said Kitty might have cast a spell on her to stop her bed‑wetting, she did, a spell of kindness and love." Kitty went red in the face, shook her head, "We all helped her."
After a little more talk, Alex asked "Do you think we could get a cup of tea before we go to bed?" Jin added "Isha did say any time, so I hope so. Maybe for us all?" Alex added "But, perhaps not made by Kitty?" This had them all laughing again. After giving Alex a touch on her shoulder with a fist, Kitty went to where Deborah was just extracting herself from the crowd that was still round Isha, asked her if she could get tea for the six guests. Deborah smiled, "Of course, save them from yours." After a brief scuffle with Kitty, Deborah skipped off out of the theatre.
Later on, when the guests had gone to their rooms, and the girls had mostly gone to their dormitories, Kitty and Chloe as usual joined Midge and Molly in the twin's apartment. Kitty immediately asked "How did it go at George's?"
Midge replied "As well as we could have hoped, probably helped because the three couples got on very well with each other. In the lounge, perhaps as you might expect, Jin broke the ice between them, they were very chatty. Each of the boys ‑ well, men, now ‑ bought a round of drinks, our girls did very well. While they'd been eating, George had found a little time to talk to them, suggesting how to associate each person with his or her room number, how to present the chitty for them to sign ‑ that's how George wants to do it, least likely to get any arguments with our girls having no formal training. It would be a little more difficult with orders split between different guests which would be the norm if guests didn't get to know each other like these."
Kitty suggested "Why not get them to do separate orders in future? I know that's not very sociable, but they are here for us to test our systems." Chloe muttered "At it again, bloomin' good idea." Midge and Molly both nodded, "Yes" from Midge, "As Chloe says, a bloomin' good idea. We'll do that."
In the morning, the three guest couples went to the breakfast room together, it seemed they'd all decided to come at the same time, either by pre‑arrangement or by coincidence. As far as Midge and the others were concerned, this was good, making their girls have to deal with several couples at once.
Midge and Molly also took the opportunity to ask them all how they'd found the arrangements for their meal last night (all gave very positive answers, including about the quality of the meal), also to ask them in future just to buy their own drinks, simply to make it a little more difficult for the girls waitressing for them.
Mid morning, Midge got Doc and Emma into her office, she wanted to ask about what Isha had said to her concerning her life before the convent.
With Molly, Kitty and Chloe there, Midge first of all showed Doc and Emma a video recording of Isha's talk in the theatre. As might perhaps be expected, Doc and Emma didn't know whether to laugh or cry. When it had finished, Midge told Doc "Isha has said that we four can talk to you about her, but no one else. Can you tell us what you know?"
Doc started, "All right then, I wouldn't normally talk about a patient without their express permission, but if you tell me she's said that then I know it's all right.
"When I first saw Isha, it was clear she was well below the height and weight she should have been, I wanted to see if there was anything wrong with her. So I gave her a thorough medical, heart, lungs, kidneys, liver, blood tests, the works, I even managed a DNA test, looking for any genetic anomalies associated with growth.
"She is as near normal as anyone. I questioned her about her childhood, reluctantly she told me at least some things about it. She'd been starved for as long as she can remember, treated like a punchball, they'd hold her head under water until she blacked out. That's my summary of what she told me. None of this was picked up by school because she never went to a primary school. It's all those years of malnutrition that left her so small.
"In her talk, she said she was taken from a dustbin and put into the convent. That misses out something like a year in her life. It took the authorities several months after the neighbour's intervention before they took her from her parents. It was during that time when she got her arms and her ribs broken, not all at once, spread over that period, but she never went to hospital.
"When she was finally taken from her home, she was emaciated and pretty much crippled, her bones had healed without being set as they should have been. How she survived her treatment, I've no idea. She was put straight into hospital. I managed to see her hospital records, she was in there for several months while they re‑broke several of the bones in her arms so they could be set properly, along with fixing tendons and so on. They did an excellent job, she's recovered very well.
"She'd never been taught to read, but somehow had learnt at home. While she was in hospital, she asked for books, including school books, she taught herself enough in those months so that when she left hospital and was put in a women's sanctuary, she could go to a primary school with others of her age. She is a very, very bright young lady.
"After maybe another six months, she went to the convent, the rest you know. Oh, something else she told me, her name has been changed to try to stop her parents ever finding her, she wouldn't tell me her original name, she won't want to tell you, she's petrified of them. I don't blame her. I dread to think what they'd do to her if they ever found her after they are released, she is as sure as she can be that they would beat her to death."
By the time Doc had finished, she, Emma, Kitty and Chloe all had tears streaming down their faces. Midge and Molly were expressionless. After Doc finished, the twins stared at each other for several seconds, the stare ended with them both nodding to each other.
Midge turned to Doc, "Can you get hold of the X‑rays of her bones when she first went into hospital? Oh, please don't ask why we want them." Doc frowned for a moment, "I might be able to get a phone photograph of them from a screen, it would show them, but not the best quality." "That'll have to do. Kitty, do we still have those phones from the attack?" Kitty nodded, "Yes, just depends on whether the batteries still work well enough, but they have been charged occasionally to keep them live."
Again to Doc, Midge said "I'm going to ask you to do that, but there must be no possibility of anyone knowing, we want no risk to you and nothing done that could trace back to here." Doc nodded, "I understand, I presume you'll give me a phone to take the pictures?" Midge nodded. "Kitty, can you find one that will work? Just to take photos, nothing else. No PIN to get it going, least time for Doc." Kitty shook her head "Don't think that's a good idea. If Doc's somehow caught with such photos on a phone, there'd be all hell to pay. Leave a PIN." Chloe muttered "Quite right, particularly if you want these for what I think you want them for."
"Any objections?" from Molly.
"None."
"Kitty, get Doc a phone, make sure Doc will remember its PIN. Doc, we won't need the pictures for at least a few days, but the sooner the better. Kitty, can you fetch Isha now? Bring her here, tell her we're with Doc but nothing else. She will almost certainly be very worried, try to reassure her everything is all right."
Molly, quietly, "Sorry sis, better without Doc here." Midge nodded, "Yes, not at my best. Doc, Emma, perhaps you could leave us? Thank you for everything." Doc said "No problem. Whatever you do, don't tell me what you're planning, I don't want to know." Emma, to herself, "I do."
Doc and Emma went out, Kitty went upstairs, ten minutes later she came back to the twins' office carrying Isha, she sat down with Isha on her lap.
Midge spoke. "Isha, we've had a talk with Doc. We realise how frightened you must be, we want to do something that will stop that fear forever, would you like that?" Isha nodded, "If only you could, but I don't see how." "Let us worry about the how. But to do this, we need to tell Pete something about you, without his help we couldn't do it. Would that be all right?" "'Spose so, but no one else, please?" "No, no one else. One more thing, in your little talk to the guests you said you wished that your parents had died. Is that deep down what you want?" Without hesitation, Isha said "Yes. But I don't know how to do it." "Again, let us worry about that."
Kitty carried Isha up to the top floor, Zoe was there, she was immediately looking a little concerned seeing Kitty carrying Isha. Kitty said to Zoe "She's a bit upset, but doesn't want to talk about it, could you sit with her for a little while?" Zoe nodded, "Of course." She put an arm round Isha, nodded to Kitty, "I'll look after her." Kitty made some tea, brought two mugs for Isha and Zoe. For once, Zoe made no comment about Kitty making it.
When Kitty got back to the office, Pete had just arrived. Seeing the expressions on all their faces, he asked "What's wrong?" Midge said "Kitty, you tell."
Kitty started by saying that anything he heard was in the strictest confidence, he mustn't breathe a word to anybody. She then told Pete what they'd learnt of Isha's past. As she was telling Pete, his face turned from concern, through worry, to downright anger. When Kitty had finished, he asked "How can I help?" Midge answered, "Isha is not her real name. She's been given a new identity, but she is still very much afraid that her parents might find her after their release. We want to put a permanent stop to that fear."
Pete, frowning, "Permanent can only mean one thing. Much as I owe you, I won't kill anyone in cold blood. Nor can I help you do it." Midge replied "We are not going to ask that of you, nor are we going to. We just want the names of her parents and their prisons, nothing else. We won't go near them." "And you're not hiring anyone to do it?" "No, we won't do that."
"All right. Will Isha tell us her old name? Without that it would be near enough impossible." Midge replied "I don't know. We're not going to bully it out of her, Kitty, you're best with her, do you think you could talk to her?" Kitty nodded, "I can try. Maybe if Pete's there and she tells just Pete, not me, I've a feeling she sees him as strong and solid. If she doesn't tell me, that'll reduce any perceived risk."
A few minutes later, Kitty went to Isha, she led her by the hand to Pete's apartment. Pete and Kitty sat side by side on the settee, with Isha on Kitty's lap. Kitty softly told Isha that if they are to do what Midge wanted for her, Pete would need to know her real name, but no one else. Eventually Isha nodded. Kitty moved her to sit on Pete's lap, Kitty saying "I'll go back to the office."
Five minutes later, Pete came into the office. "I've taken her to the top floor, she's snuggled up with Zoe. She's so frightened about what's happening." Midge nodded, "Yes. That's what we want to put an end to. Do you think you can get them? Without any come‑back?" Pete nodded, "I'm pretty sure I can, but it'll take me a day or two."
"Thank you Pete, perhaps you could leave us now? The fewer people who know what we're doing, the better. And, again, we won't lay a finger on them, nor will we pay anybody to do anything violent."
With Pete out of the office, Midge turned to Kitty. "Do we have any way of contacting our friend with the baseball bat?" Kitty answered "I think there was his email address in his phone, but emailing him would leave a trail. We could use his phone to send the email, it would show up as from him to him. The phone won't have any connection with the cellular operator, long since lost, but we could probably find somewhere with free WiFi and hook it onto that. Somewhere well away from here, and we don't want anyone seen by security cameras. Not easy."
Molly asked "How about using the abbess's phone? That's if they haven't moved away?" Kitty nodded, "That would avoid any connection to us." Midge: "We try when we know the names and prisons."
Chloe asked "You're not going to get mister Baseball Bat to do anything?" Midge replied "Nothing violent, just going to talk to him, get a little information, perhaps get him to send a couple of messages, nothing else."
That afternoon after their return from lunch, Jenna went to Isha at the reception desk and asked her if she could talk to Kitty.
Swimming with guests???
………….
…………..
Two days after he'd learned Isha's real name, Pete gave Midge a piece of paper. On it were written two names, each with the name of a prison beside it. He'd also put dates beside them, he said "Probable release dates. Not much time." Doc had also got the X‑ray pictures they wanted.
That night, in their black body‑suits, the twins ran to the warehouse where they'd found the abbess before. Although there was no sign of life from the outside, once inside ‑ using the same upstairs floor window they used the previous time ‑ they found the same nuns. As before they put them to sleep, this time including the abbess. None of them would have seen the twins, they would never know they'd been visited.
Using the abbess's forefinger to unlock her phone, they found what looked like a contacts entry for Molly's 'friend', it had the same email address as Kitty had found on his phone. After a brief look at each other, Midge wrote an email on the phone, it said "I want to meet you, nine, tomorrow, park. Please don't reply, just be there." But before she sent it, she deleted the word 'please'. The email sent, she erased it from the phone and wiped off the phone to remove all fingerprints.
The next day, when Pete took the guests to George's for lunch, Midge and Molly went with them, they were wearing their normal dresses. Having dropped the guests off, Pete drove them into town where the twins went to the 'outdoors' shop that they'd got the whistles from all those years ago. The man there recognised them, "Hello again, how can I help you?" Midge asked "A backpack, please? Not particularly big, just an everyday one, preferably a dark colour?"
He led them to a corner of the shop, there were several on display, Molly picked out a black one. "Here we are." He wanted to give them a very large discount, but Midge said "Thank you, but no, this is not for the school, it's for us, so that wouldn't be right." He smiled, "Yes, I'd heard you were very honest. How about the usual ten percent I often give?"
Eight o'clock that evening, wearing their black body‑suits and Molly with the backpack on, the twins set off for the park, avoiding people and cameras as they so often did. Once by the lake, hidden within the trees, they slipped out of their body‑suits and into the dresses that they'd brought in the backpack.
They waited until Molly's 'friend' appeared. When he was standing there, Midge and Molly went out. "Hello, again" from Molly. He looked as if he was going to have a heart attack. Molly said "It's all right, we only want to talk, maybe ask a little favour."
They told him they wanted to get a message to any prisoner within each of two prisons, didn't matter which prisoner it was. After a bit of persuasion, he said he could do that, but he'd have to do some bribing. Midge said to him "Yes, but if you try to take more than ten percent of what you ask for, we'll know." Molly grinned, "Then we might want to do more than talk to you."
He said "Usual rate is a hundred pounds each. So, you give me two hundred and twenty, all right?" Midge reached into the backpack, she took out some notes that she'd got from the office petty cash, counted out what he'd asked for, also she gave him two envelopes ‑ he probably didn't notice that she was holding them by their edges, she didn't want to risk her fingerprints on them. "Don't open these, if I find out they've been opened, I might be tempted to open you. How soon?" "Dunno, maybe a week or three, depends on guard shifts." "If you try to cheat us, we will find you." "No, wouldn't dare." "Let us know when it's done." "How can I contact you? I'm not going near where …" He tailed off. Molly: "You know the restaurant, George's? Leave a note with George. But don't annoy him or any of his staff or customers."
The next day, Midge phoned Isabel, the reporter at the local newspaper that they knew from the time when they turned the building into a school. After the usual pleasantries, Midge asked if they could see her. She suggested she came to them, she'd heard they'd set up the guest house, she'd like to see it, so later that day she came to the building. She went to the reception desk where Isha was sitting, Isabel introduced herself, she said she'd come to see Midge and Molly.
A slightly nervous Isha lifted the phone on the desk, when it was answered, she said "There's a reporter here to see you … Oh, glad of that … Thank you." To Isabel she said "Yes, you're expected, well, by them, nobody told me, typical. Someone will be out in a mo, please, take a seat. Oh, I don't mean take it away, you can leave it where it is and just sit on it if you like, otherwise someone will have to bring it back because we always want two chairs at the desk for our guests because they usually come as pairs, so two seems to be about the right number to have ‑ oh, there's Midge and Molly so there's no need for you to sit. Unless they're going to sit with you here, then I'll suppose I'll have to fetch another chair. Oh, Kitty and Chloe as well, so that's three more chairs. Well, not if one of them tells me to bugger off, so one can sit in my chair then it's only two more …"
She was interrupted by the arriving Midge saying "It's all right, Isha, you needn't bugger off, Isabel can come with us." "Thank goodness for that, or I'd have to fetch half the chairs from the breakfast room, we've only got armchairs here and they're far too heavy for me to carry. Well, we've got settees as well, but …" "Thank you, Isha."
Settled in the office, and still smiling from her experience with Isha, Isabel asked "So, what did you want to see me about, it sounded serious on the phone?" Midge replied "We've got an idea there could be some trouble at a prison, I don't want to tell you why we think that, but we would like to know if our feeling is justified. We think you would be very likely to hear about any such thing, even if it wasn't considered newsworthy for the general public."
Isabel frowned, "I can see you aren't going to tell me any more, but you are making me curious. All right then, I'll give you a ring if I do learn anything, but my curiosity might make me look into things a little." Midge nodded, "We understand that. All we ask is that you don't say anything about this conversation."
Editing here
Some three weeks after seeing Molly's 'friend' in the park, George handed a scrap of paper to one of the girls who was waitressing, "I think this is for Molly, the man who brought it said 'It's for that blonde girl, the very scary one with a twin'."
Delivered to Midge and Molly, they read the words 'both done' in a barely legible scrawl. Midge said to Molly, "Now, we wait."
After another two days, Isabel phoned Midge to ask if she could come and see them. Fifteen minutes later, Isabel came through the door and went to Isha's desk, she said "Hello, again, Isha. How are you?" Isha relied "Hello, have you come to see Midge and Molly again?" "Yes, please." "I think you can sit while you wait for them, I'm not expecting any more guests at the moment. Mind you, I wasn't expecting you so we might still have a chair problem …" Isabel interrupted, "It's all right, you phone them, I'll stand if anyone comes in." "Oh, thank you, that's a bit of a relief."
Isha did phone Midge, she and Molly came out. As she stood up, Isabel turned to Isha, "Thank you, Isha, once again, very helpful."
The twins took Isabel into their office, where Isabel started. "Well, your, er, feeling, did turn out to be justified. Yesterday, in each of two prisons, a prisoner was set upon by others, both died from their injuries. The coincidences are too great to be coincidences. One was in a men's prison, one a women's, it seems they were husband and wife, I found out that they were put in prison for extreme cruelty and neglect of their child, together with some relatively minor charges. The whereabouts of the child are unknown, seems to have disappeared when the couple were arrested.
"In one of the prisons, a piece of torn and screwed up paper was found, on it were the names of both prisoners and X‑ray pictures of several bones that had been broken and either partially or badly healed. There was some other writing as well, but it had got saturated with blood and disintegrated, there was nothing left that was legible.
"Reading between the lines, so to speak, I suspect that the writing would have said something like 'These people did this to their child', which one could predict might have provoked an attack of this nature by some inmates. Even quite dangerous criminals can be very protective of children. Or maybe they just would have used it as an excuse for some violence.
"I don't expect you to confirm or deny that you might have been involved in some way, but do you have any comment for me? Totally off the record, of course."
A glance between the twins, Midge started "Let's just say that your coincidences are probably very fortuitous for their child, as it is likely that the parents would have threatened her that they would kill her when they came out of prison, and the already thoroughly physically and mentally traumatised child would remain in total fear for her life for as long as her parents were alive. Even if she was living under an assumed identity, she might have been found eventually, so that fear would stay with her."
"Hmm, interesting, you've assumed their child was a 'she'. And they were both due for release in a few weeks. As you say, probably very fortuitous. All right, I don't expect you to say any more.
"Change of subject, if I am to do a write‑up of your place, could I see more of it? And could I see what facilities you have? I didn't have a proper look round last time."
Midge phoned Kitty and Chloe, asked them to come to the lounge area. After their greetings, Isabel remarked "I do like your dresses, and they match the carpet." Midge nodded, "We are trying to present some sort of consistent look to the place. Now, we can show you round all the guest areas, though not where things might be, er, unconventional. Please bear in mind we are not a normal hotel, the sort of guests we are catering for will be more interested in each other than what you might find in a holiday camp. Kitty, could you do the talking, please?"
Before Kitty could say anything, Isabel asked "Can I take pictures, maybe starting first in your drive, then reception? Helps me sorting later if they're in some sort of order." Midge replied "Yes, of course, but please, no photos of any of our other girls, nor of guests without their permission." Isabel nodded. So, they went outside where Isobel took some pictures of the drive and the entrance, then the hall with its glass door. As they went into the main area, she said "I'd like one of your reception desk, but Isha is sitting at it, you didn't want me photographing your girls. And it would look so bare without a receptionist."
Kitty went to Isha, "Could Chloe sit in your place for Isabel, please?" "Am I getting the sack, I don't think I've done anything wrong, so why …" "No, Isha, no sack, nothing wrong. Isabel wants to photograph the reception desk, we've asked her not to photograph anyone except us four, all right? You'll be back there on a jiffy. Oh, which room is free?"
"Ooh, is Isabel going to stay here, because she's not in my list of arrivals, so …" "No, she just wants to see one of our rooms." "Oh, that's good, because I would have to make another new entry, and it takes me ages, I'm not very practised." "The room number?" "Oh, yes, just a mo … ah, here we are, fourteen. You might have expected it to be twenty‑two, because that's up another flight of stairs, or thirteen, because some people think it's unlucky. Not that I think …" "Thank you Isha, perhaps you'll let Chloe sit in your place?" "That's good, because I could do with a pee, you've all made me very nervous, and I don't want to leave my post in case any more reporters come. Chloe, can you man my desk for a bit longer than a jiffy, please? Maybe a whole minute? Or even woman it?"
As Isha raced off, Isabel couldn't help laughing. "She's hilarious, using about a hundred words when two will do. And so, I don't know, bubbly? But there's considerable sadness there, and real insecurity."
Midge said "Like all our girls, she had a difficult background, we're hoping putting her there will help build her confidence." "So, even after all these years, you are still helping her?" "We do our best for all of them. Now, your photographs before she comes back and starts fretting again?"
With Chloe sat at the reception desk, Isabel took some pictures, she also took some of the lounge area, there wasn't anyone else in it at that moment. Then Midge said "Let's go up to the room, that's the next port of call for guests, so that would be the right order. Chloe, would you mind waiting until Isha gets … oh here she comes." ‑ Isha was sprinting towards them.
As she reached her seat, Isha turned to Isabel, "Please, you're not going report that the receptionist here spends all her time in the loo and ignoring the guests, because I could have held on for a bit longer, and I am allowed to get another of the girls to sit here for the time it takes me, and I always run, so it's not for very long and not very often, please?"
Isabel, trying not to laugh, "No, I won't do that, on the contrary, I think I might put that the receptionist was exceptionally conscientious." "Oh, thank you, maybe they won't sack me if you say that."
Midge shook her head, "Isha, no one is going to sack you. Now, Isabel, let's show you round."
They took her up the stairs, Chloe said "There is a lift there if guests would rather use it." To herself she quietly added "But you won't catch me in it." If Isabel heard this, she didn't say anything. They led her to the currently unused bedroom, Kitty said "They're all essentially the same, all have a table and chairs, the little settee and the television, they can watch whatever they like, standard broadcasts, any internet feed, we can offer our own assortment of videos, also a live feed from our theatre, we'll show you in there in a bit. Room service for breakfast, teas and coffees always available."
After Isabel had taken a few photographs of the bedroom and a couple in the bathroom, they took her downstairs again, and led her into the theatre. Kitty said "It's very simple, enough seating for all our guests, that's a changing room to the side of the stage."
"What sort of shows do you do?" Kitty replied "So far, nothing formal or rehearsed, we've put on something of a fashion show, girls modelling some of the clothes we have." Midge added "Just the once, we did get Isha sitting there, talking to the guests. Well, to everyone else who was here as well, just told her to say whatever came into her head, but I don't think we'll be doing it again."
Isabel smiled, "Any chance I could see that? I expect you would have videoed it." Midge asked Kitty "Safe?" Kitty, shook her head, "No, but I can make it safe. We could show it here after we've done the rounds."
They took Isabel out of the theatre. As they went towards the door that led from the lounge to the breakfast room area, they passed four guests sitting in two settees. One of their girls was walking away carrying an empty tray, Midge asked her "Everything all right, Meredith?" "Oh, yes, they've just come in from a swim, wanted some tea. I put some shortbread out for them, they'll be hungry after avoiding the crocodiles." Laughing, she ran to the door that the group were walking towards and held it open for them.
Kitty pointed out the kitchen, then led Isabel into the breakfast room. Inside, after a few more photographs, Isabel asked "So, you have crocodiles here?" ‑ she was smiling as she asked the question. Midge answered "Only in Isha's imagination, we'll show you later. At least, I hope they're only in her imagination."
Kitty explained about their eating arrangements, Isabel gave a nod of approval when they said they took the guests to George's for the majority of the meals.
"Right, would you like to see outside?" Chloe said "I'll nip back and get a map for Isabel, make it easier to explain." After a "Good idea" from Midge, Chloe went back to the lounge area. Outside, they waited for Chloe, she was only a minute. As Chloe passed it to Isabel, Midge said "Please, that's not for publication, just to help you get your bearings for now. Kitty?" "Yes, thank you. The map just shows the open areas. There's a lot of woodland that the guests are welcome to explore …" she was interrupted by Chloe laughing, and continued "… apologies for Chloe, you'll see what's funny later.
"So over there you can see a couple of cottages, the smaller one is the home of our resident doctor, she's been with us for a long while. The larger one is lived in by friends of ours, a couple with two children. Oh, right on cue." As she was speaking, Milly and Kyle came running towards them, Kitty bent down and scooped up Milly, Chloe did the same with Kyle. A quick hug, then they were put down, both children went to Midge, they both hugged a leg, then they each poked one of Molly's knees with a finger and ran off laughing. They weren't the only ones laughing, Isabel and all four girls were as well.
When they'd recovered, Midge said "The children won't normally approach guests, they know they are not to. But staff on their own are fair game. Molly beckoned them this time." Isabel, still smiling, nodded.
Kitty continued, "Further down that driveway is the home of Roy and Jane, you'll remember them from the school starting. They've been here forever, he does all the normal maintenance and looks after the grounds. We'll only take you down there if you put your phone away and promise not to write anything about what you might see there that could be considered unorthodox, but why don't we go to the lake by the boathouse which is where you may or may not find Isha's crocodiles?" She was trying not to laugh.
Midge pointed out the tennis court, then led Isabel through to the guests' seating area, where there was a couple sitting They were chatting with one of the staff, tea things on their table. Midge went to them, "Everything all right?" The girl of the couple replied, "Oh, yes, thank you. Everly here is looking after us very well. It's so pleasant here, so relaxing, really enjoying our stay." Midge said "Good, pleased to hear that. Thank you, Everly." Isabel had followed Midge to the guests, she introduced herself, asked if she could take some photographs. Midge led Everly away, and after a couple of photos, Isabel thanked them. Midge gave Everly a brief kiss on her mouth, then she and Isabel walked back to the others.
Isabel, smiling, "I know you wouldn't, but anywhere else I'd have suspected that was laid on for me." Midge, smiling back, "Luckily we don't need to lay it on, the guests do seem to like it here." Isabel remarked "I've a feeling luck has little to do with it. And I do like the way you've put in the tall hedge, makes it cosy." Kitty replied "We wanted to mask off the building as far as possible, it's a bit obtrusive." Isabel nodded, "Yes, that seems to work well. All right, let's find Isha's crocs."
As they walked away from the seating area, Midge pointed out the barbecue. She said "We offer the barbecue as an alternative to Monday meals in particular, we let the guests use it if they want, or our girls can cook the guest's choice. Chloe, don't say it." Chloe had been about to say something, but she closed her mouth, she received a (very light) punch from Kitty, "That's for thinking it." Isabel looked questioningly at Midge, who said "Don't worry, these two are always looking for a fight, I only stopped them because you're here." As she was saying this Kitty and Chloe kissed each other, both said, in unison, "Later." Isabel smiled and shook her head.
Nearing the boathouse, they saw Ann sitting on a chair. She heard them coming, she stood up. "Hello. There's a couple swimming, so I'm doing the lifeguard bit. Oh, you're the reporter, er, Isobel? Nice to see you again, I'm Ann." "Hello, yes, I remember you from way back. I gather you have to look out for crocodiles." Ann laughed, "Oh, you've heard about them. Well, I've not seen any yet, but I am keeping my eyes open. And for the whales and piranhas."
Isabel looked puzzled for a moment, then "What other unusual wildlife is there around?" Midge answered her, "We'll let you hear from the horse's mouth. Well, Isha's. Where are they?" ‑ she was referring to the swimming guests. "Oh, they're doing a bit of diving, look, they've come up again. They know what they're doing, but I've got the whistle with me in case of anything."
As they walked back, Isabel asked "Is she trained for lifesaving?" Midge replied "All of our girls who are good swimmers have been on lifeguard and resuscitation courses. As for the whistle she was referring to, we have whistles for any emergency, much quicker to use than a phone. If she blew it, there'd be several of our staff here immediately, including Doc, so Ann could be in the water helping them within a second."
Isabel nodded, "Good. Anything else to show me out here?" Kitty replied "You'll have seen the garages at the front, the guests can park their cars in those. Nothing else, really, unless you want a trek through the woods. They're left pretty wild, so there may be some hazards such as fallen branches and suchlike, but we think the guests like it like that, rather than something managed in an artificial way. We do have security cameras that would show guests entering the wooded areas, so at least we would know where they were if they go missing." She added "Roy has some motion sensitive cameras in odd places, he likes to keep a check on any wildlife." Suddenly, Chloe and Molly were hugging each other, laughing. Midge said "Don't mind them, you'll see why it's funny later."
Midge said "We could show you down past Roy's, but as Kitty said before, we'd ask you to put your phone away and not say anything about what you might see there." Isabel said "Perhaps I'd better not, then. Safer for all concerned, I think. Maybe another time when I'm not wearing my reporter's hat."
Back inside the building, Kitty said "It'll take a few minutes to get Isha's video ready, why don't you have some tea or coffee while I sort it?" Meredith was still there, sat in a chair. When she heard Kitty, she stood up and asked "Can I get you some? Good job Kitty's busy otherwise …" Midge just held up her hand, "Please, don't complete the sentence, Isabel here is a reporter and might get the wrong impression." Both Meredith and Kitty said "Shame" at exactly the same moment, which had all the girls laughing.
Isabel looked a little puzzled, Midge said "Don't worry about them. Tea or coffee?" "Oh, tea, please." They sat down on some settees, while Meredith and Kitty went off to do their respective tasks. Meredith was back first with a tray with teapots, cups and saucers, milk jugs, sugar bowl and some teaspoons. She also had plates and some shortbread biscuits.
A few minutes later they were all sipping tea. When Isobel had finished one of the biscuits, she said "These are really good. Where do you get them from?" Chloe replied "Jane makes them for us. We all love them, so do our guests." "I'm not surprised, they are delicious. These were the same as you gave the girls on their arrival here?" Nods. "May I have another?" "Please, just help yourself, Jane will do another batch for us if we run out."
Ten minutes later, Kitty came back, "Sorry it took so long, had to go right through it, wasn't sure if I'd remembered correctly. But it's ready now."
Chloe said "Kitty, before we do, go to Isha. She'll be able to hear it, she'll be worried." Midge nodded, "Yes, Chloe's right. Tell her what we'll be seeing." Kitty's turn to nod, knowing that Midge was really referring to Isha worrying about what they wouldn't be seeing. Kitty went to Isha, had a whispered conversation with her, ending with a kiss and Kitty saying "I promise you, it's all right."
They led Isabel into the theatre. When they were settled, Kitty used her phone to dim the lights and start the video of Isha's monologue. At the end of it, Isabel was half laughing, half crying. Kitty turned up the lights, they waited while Isabel recovered herself. She said "Never seen anything like it, what a delightful experience. What an imagination. But so sad as well.
"I did notice you'd cut out a couple of bits, hope they didn't refer to any other unusual wildlife in the woods. Or in the lake." Then "And I think I know … no, I won't go there."
Midge said "Thank you, we'd certainly rather you didn't." Then Isabel asked "Can I speak to her? Oh, just to congratulate her." "Kitty, just you with Isabel, she'll feel less intimidated."
When Isabel and Kitty came back to the other three, Isabel said "She's a lovely girl. Now, I'll write something up and I'll let Daniel see it. As far as I am concerned, that protocol is still in place. Has he been here in its present guise?" Midge replied "No, actually not. I think we'll get them here, thank you for the suggestion. That would certainly please them."
On her way to the front door, Isabel went to Isha. "I'm off now, so goodbye, and it's been lovely seeing you again." Before Isha could reply, Isabel was walking out through the front door.
Back in the office, Midge and Molly told Kitty and Chloe about Isabel's news.
That evening, Midge phoned Daniel. When he answered, he said "Hello, long time no see, how are you all?" Midge said "We're all well, thank you. You're on speaker with Molly, Kitty and Chloe." "Hello, girls. I presume this is a social call?" "Yes." "Just a moment, I'll get Audrey."
They talked pleasantries for a while, then Midge said "We wondered if you, Samuel and Natalie would like to see our guest house? Just so you know what we're doing here?" Audrey immediately replied "We'd love to." Daniel asked "Would you like us to arrange a time with Samuel and Natalie?" "Yes, please, that would be perfect. Any time to suit you, just give us an hour's notice, make sure we're in."
After a little more chat, Midge told them that Isabel might be showing him her write‑up on the guest house. He asked "Do I need to be aware of anything that might be, er, unusual?" Midge laughed, "No, not this time. Unless she mentions the crocodiles." More laughter from the girls, then the inevitable question, "You have crocodiles?" "Only imaginary ones. We'll explain when we see you."
Two days later, through the post they received four copies of the evening newspaper, a covering note was from Isabel, 'Thought you might like these.' On page three was the article she'd written.
The em‑and-em guest house
By Isabel
Many of our readers will remember when the old convent school burnt down and a temporary school was established in a building a few miles out of town. That building has now been converted into a guest house, staffed almost entirely by girls that were pupils in the school.
First of all, let me say that I got to know the proprietors quite well around the time it became a school, I've tried not to let any friendships influence this article.
I had reason to visit it recently, and thought our readers might like to know what the new guest house was like, so here are my impressions.
The approach to the building is along a drive that winds its way through a wooded area, it opens out to where the building stands. The surrounding grounds are well cared for, there are shrubs that brighten up the approach.
The building itself is nothing like you might expect for a guest house, it's quite big, and would appear to have once been used for some industrial purpose.
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But don't be put off by this. Once inside, you are in a large lounge area, nicely decorated, plenty of seating, open and airy.
I met several of the staff, my first encounter was with the receptionist. A lovely girl, I think a little nervous, but couldn't be more helpful, clearly concerned for the wellbeing of the guests.
All the staff wear identical, somewhat unconventional dresses. Almost all have their names embroidered on them, the only two without names are the twins after which the guest house was named, Midge and Molly. I am told that no one knows which twin is which anyway!
I was shown round by the four girls originally responsible for the school, and now for the guest house. They explained that the sort of guests they were catering for were honeymooners or other couples wanting a quiet time together.
I was taken up a flight of stairs ‑ a lift is available ‑ and shown a guest bedroom, one of seven. Pleasant décor, nicely furnished, with table and chairs, a small settee, also a television. The ensuite shower room was also well equipped, toiletries and other items provided.
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They explained about meals, they take the guests to a nearby restaurant for the main meals, many of our readers will know George's. Meals are all included in their standard tariff, but drinks are extra, paid for at the end of the stay at the guest house. No alcohol is served in the guest house, however guests can be taken to a nearby hotel if they want.
Those of you who know George's will be aware that the restaurant is closed on Mondays, so for that day the guests are offered a limited choice of meals that are prepared at George's for eating in‑house, there is also a barbecue outside. Breakfast is served in a small dining room, also available in your room with room service, there's a phone in each room.
Tea and coffee is always available, "Just ask any of our staff". This attitude of "Just ask" seems to apply throughout, the staff I met were all very friendly and, without being intrusive, eager to help guests in any way they could.
They showed me around outside behind the guest house, there is a tennis court, a very pleasant seating area, the separate barbecue, and quite extensive grounds that guests are welcome to explore, much of which is woodland. I was told this was left natural, so there may be some hazards such as fallen branches and the like, guests are warned about this.
Some of the grounds are bounded by a lake in which guests can swim, a lifeguard will be on hand if they do want to.
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There is a standing joke amongst the staff about some unusual wildlife, crocodiles, piranhas, killer whales in the lake, also bears and goblins in the woods. I am assured these are purely imaginary!
I talked to some guests, they were obviously very happy with their stay, praising the place, its facilities and the staff.
There are three occupied cottages in the grounds, one is for their in‑house doctor, one for the man who does the general maintenance and looks after the grounds ‑ his wife bakes the most delicious shortbread biscuits I've ever tasted, available to guests ‑ the third by friends of the proprietors, a couple with two delightful young children, who I am assured will not interfere with the guests.
The general ambiance in the guest house is one of fun, the staff always willing to interact with guests, but only if the guests want.
Don't expect any real entertainment, but there is a small theatre on the ground floor where they put on occasional shows, nothing formal, so far just fashion shows where the girls dress up in some of the outfits they've worn while in the building, I've not seen this.
To sum up, a very pleasant place to stay, particularly for couples who, as it was put to me, are more interested in each other than seeking entertainment.
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The four having read it, Kitty photocopied the article, they took copies up to the top floor where she pinned one onto the display board by the dining area. Immediately a crowd of girls surrounded the copy, very soon it was ripped to shreds as the girls fought to read it.
Molly, grinning, called out "Right, we have three more copies here, perhaps you can be a little calmer, we won't bring up any more."
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Introduction